Big star

Let's talk about big star baby.

Yes big star, often considered, along the likes of the velvet underground and grateful dead, the quintessential cult band. A band that came close to stardom (he he get it?), but for one reason or another, things never worked out for them and everything just fell apart before the 80s showed it's tacky and bright and colorful head.

With just seeing the documentary "nothing can hurt me", which tells about the bands whole career from the 60s up until their second break up in 2010, i thought i'd grab chance by the balls and talk about the little band that could. That and fanboy out for god knows how many paragraphs.

I debated with myself (and continued to do as of writing this) whether or not i should go through with this blog and if i did, how am i going to make it seem so important and make anyone want to read it? Over the years, i have always gone out of my way to give recommendations to anyone i meet; tv shows, anime, movies, music artists, whether they're well known or obscure i always find time to talk about them and hope that anyone listens and gives them a try. So why not do that with big star? Even with as big (damn you unintentional puns!) as they are now, i still feel like not a whole lot of people know about these guys so i feel it's my unofficial job to help spread the word of big star.

Starting off here with one simple question: what makes big star such a damn good band? Let's take a step back in time to when the british invade america.........with music. When bands like the beatle, the yardbirds, the kinks and so forth appeared, so many people wanted to be like them, which sparked the idea for several teenage boys to buy (or beg their parents in this case) their own musical instruments and replicate the same sound that those bands did. One of these bands were the boxtops, fronted by a then 16 year old alex chilton. Before big star was ever conceived, alex sang for this wee little blue eyed soul group and soon they took off with the song "the letter" which sold millions. Chilton soon left the group and then offered chris bell to start their own simon and garfunkel type of duo group. While bell turned down the offer, he asked chilton to join his own band, icewater (who would then change their name to big star) and, as they say, the rest was history.

Though the name big star came from a local grocery store in the memphis area, when you think about it (this was also something that was mentioned in the documentary by one of the band members whose name i sadly can't remember), calling your band big star, as well as naming your debut album "#1 record" was something that came off sounding egotistical, but also in worst case, ironic, and in the latter's case, it's something that can be almost scary, if not somewhat funny for the wrong reasons.

Well those fears were surely all but vanished (temporarily i'm sure) since #1 record garnered critical acclaim. However, and this is where the problem with big star's career, the album sold poorly due to lack of promoting and distribution. Not helping that bell started to feel that he was being ignored by the critics and was feeling left out even though, out of everyone that worked on #1 record, he poured the most care and attention into the production. So yeah something like that can put a sour feel on someone like bell and for that, he eventually left the band.

From '72 until '78, it was nothing big star struggling with fame and getting some respect. Well they still did from the likes of rolling stone loving the hell out of them, but despite that, they still felt like they were being ignore and all that bitterness and sour turmoil was soon poured into the bands third and final studio album, third (aka sister lovers). And thus, big star was no more.........until 1993 where chilton, along with drummer jody stephans, gathered up members from the posies to resurrect a new big star that lasted until 2010 where they did several live events and only made one album (never heard it but from what i heard, wasn't all that great).

And that's the long and short of it. I didn't intend to go off on a history lesson about big star so i tried to provide the cliff notes version of it. Plus, if there was anything i might of left out, the best i can say just do a simple google search or go and watch the documentary, which i implore you do by the way. Anyways, going back to a question i asked earlier, and also derailed from, and that was what made this band this good?

Musically speaking, big star played a style of music called power pop. Power pop took the melodies and light hearted hooks of british guitar pop bands and combined it with the crunch and swagger of american hard rock. Other bands like badfinger and the raspberries are, along with big star, were known for popularizing and pioneering the genre during the 70s, but what made big star stood out from other bands during the early 70s, to me at least, was not only the kind of music they played, but their lyrics were incredibly personal.

While their music was hard rocking, while still somewhat melodic, most of their songs had a feeling of melancholy to them. On #1 record and their second album, radio city, it was apparent, and then third happened. I mentioned how all the turmoil the band felt was put into third, well it was, both musically and lyrically. Unlike the last two albums which were crunchy, but sweet, third is that, but more abrasive and dissonant and their lyrics were more depressing and sorrowful (one song on there, holocaust, is pretty much the equivalent of a modern day emo/screamo song except it's legitimately sad and tragic rather than whiny and obnoxious). Third can best be described as the soundtrack to a band falling apart or a man having a mental breakdown. All these factors make this easily one of the most bleakest albums ever recorded.

Now that i think about it, with what i've mentioned and talked about, big star's history is kinda sad. Let me explain, the band has gone through hell to get some recognition and, while the critics liked them, their record label, including their own manager possibly, never gave too much of a crap to give them enough attention, therefor, they were commercially unsuccessful and this put an emotional toll on both bell and chilton who were both the driving force behind big star as it. As silly as this may sound, this almost paints a tale of woe for the band. I'd say tragedy, but that be pushing it.

Even with all that said, there's still an upside. While they gained far more acclaim and recognition over the next 20 year, they're considered one of the most influential bands of all time. Big star has shown to be a huge influence on not just future power pop bands, but for alternative rock in general. Ask anyone from R.E.M., the flaming lips, meat puppets, yo la tengo, matthew sweet, robyn hitchcock, you name it, who influenced them so much, most often then not, they'll be point directly at big star.

It's always a shame when something makes it's debut and no one is there to even give a shit, only then people start to notice it a whole several odd years later. I guess that it's positive that at least people begin to notice it later as oppose to never. Big star's history is bittersweet at best, but at least the remaining band members and those that have worked or are close to the band can feel assured that big star is, well, big now. Bell and chilton will never know this since, sadly, they have both passed on with bell, passed away back '78, never knowing how popular big star would be in the future. As said, everything about big star is bittersweet, both in music, writing, and in history. It's tough, but they at least found some way, maybe out of pure luck, to become, again, big.

Yes it was intentional.

Why i stopped playing team fortress 2

Several weeks back, i once made a post on facebook about getting angry at video games. during that i mentioned that there are games that make me mad, even though i really like them, and one of the ones i mentioned is team fortress 2. For those that aren't video game savvy, team fortress 2 is a team based online first person where 2 teams, consisting of 9 classes , fight one another in different types of matches. Though simple sounding, the game is known for it's balanced gameplay and weapon system, goofy and tongue and cheek sense of humor, and chaotic and over the top fights. The game has struggled to stay afloat up until now, having being 8 years old right now, and has now since garnered aspects of it that's easy to ridicule (people caring about dressing up their classes, most of the community consisting of stupid, gullible kids and condescending douchebags among other things), the game itself is a lot of fun to play.

It's also the only game i've played that has pissed me off the most.

There are a lot of games out there, all with various levels of difficulty. There are those that are laughably easy, some that have that balance of being challenging, but fair, and then there the kind of games that make you want to burn your whole house down. TF2 is different because how the game plays out how well you play the game as well as how good the people are when you are up against them. It depends since this can be random at times, one minute you'll have a good ol' time. Then you quickly notice that the opposing team is a whole lot better than you and you have no choice but to either try your damn best and play against or continuously get your ass served to you by these better players, over and over and over again.

I get that anyone that reads this either has never played TF2 or even have never heard of it up until now, but hear me out with this.

There are video game obsessions i get every now and then, a game that i would play almost every day because i love it that much, the last game i played constantly before TF2 was borderlands. It was no different with TF2, except i was playing it EVERYDAY, i'd say up to roughly 10 hours, i was completely into the game that much. While i had times where i would have a blast playing the game, trying out different weapon load outs for my classes, getting a lot of kills, and so forth, i would also have times where i start the game feeling good and end the game feeling drained and fucking miserable. I would have times where i would say to myself, "why the fuck do i play this fucking game?" This game has made me feel emotions, made me conjure up thoughts, that no game has made me feel before. Cursing, harsh name calling, pounding on my chair, you name it. Most games had me feeling frustrated, this brought out my inner hulk.

Now on the flip side however, despite all that i have mentioned even with all that in mind, i never went into the chat or voice call to do all this. I never turned on my mic just to rage endlessly nor insult ones personal being mostly because their were better at the game then i was. Even at my most negative state, i still remained almost rational and logical. Almost.

At this point you'd think that maybe this game wasn't meant for me if it made me feel this badly, and while you're not wrong for thinking that, i have said that i like this game and i have had fun playing. Yet because i was wasting way too much time playing this game, ignoring all the other games i have in my whole collection (and not doing anything much else productive, yeah), all for a game that has given me mixed feelings at best and horrible ones at worst is why i stopped playing this game.

Rest assured, i don't see myself as the type of person to get mad at a video game and stay mad at a video game. I don't try to take them so seriously, i mellow out and get over them quickly. I can also acknowledge times where i completely fuck up and have gotten myself killed. Yet the fact that i play this game so damn much and, at times, have made me feel that badly after a while, shows that i can't keep going on feeling like this. I really do feel ashamed that come off like that guy when i don't want to. It also doesn't help that this is all about a game that have so many things about that i really do like, but god damn, this game tends to bring out the worst in me, sometimes when it tries not to.

I just started this blog of mine recently and this is already my most personal one so far and i don't expect a lot of people to see how i feel as i am typing all this out. Just see it as a guy venting, letting off all that frustration, a guy with his own issues pretty much.

Whelp, time to go off and find my newest obsession.

*EDIT 5/10/2015*

So almost a week after i posted this, i decided to go back and re-install TF2 cause even with all the frustration and crap it mad me feel in the worst of times, i still had fun playing it, going through the various types of weapons and trying out different loadouts for each of my classes and all that stuff. So with my 6 day long vacation from TF2 out of the way, i was welcomed back with most of the same. Yeah i did get mad, but never violently enraged and i tried to play the game as less as possible.

So why am i writing this now? Well last night when i was having another go at the game i did the one thing i tried not to do no matter how upset i go while playing. I talked about before how not matter what, i tried to act rationally and not go into the chat or turn my microphone to go on a vile, insult spouting hate speech for everyone in the server to see/hear. I tried my damn best to never do that no matter how bad the game was going and i couldn't handle it. I broke that self made rule of mine last night.

Yes, i was so enraged that i turned on my mic and what came out of me made me sound like one of satans minions suffering from a bad bowel movement. I never turn my mic on during times like this cause it'll make me look like a joke afterwords. The fact that i did is one of the biggest mistakes i have ever made.

For that, i've thought about it and i realize that something like TF2 just isn't for me (took a long time to figure that one out, i know). As stated, i tend to see myself as a fairly mellow person and while i have gotten mad at video games, i've never gotten visibly shaken and fist pounding enraged before. Take that however you can about me if you think i'm some has been that takes games too seriously or not, whatever. At this point, this shouldn't be a thing that i don't want to go through ever again and yes, i uninstalled TF2, again, and i hope this lasts longer than a week.

I don't want to try and, unintentionally or not, repeat anything else i might state or even repeat the same asinine mistake over and over again. To put it so, if a game like TF2 makes me feel this horribly, then it's a game i should just avoid. I don't regret downloading and playing the game since there's so much about it i really like, i just regret not dealing with this more maturely then i should of.

Oh and happy mothers day.

A blog about corey nichols (and also certain religious folk kinda suck)

Yeah i couldn't think of a good title so shush.

I've thought about what would be my first actual post, that wasn't just the introduction, on my new blog for sometime. The one i chose was something i shared on facebook very recently ago and i thought i'd expand upon it some more. As you can tell from the title, it's about how corey nichols, a gay teen, was tossed out by his birth family and was recently adopted by a much better family. This was a story that filled me with two emotions: joy and malice. joy because corey found love and comfort in a group of people that he can now call a family and malice because his birth family are worse than dried up bear dung.

It should come to no surprise that religion, like any massive group/community, has its fair share of illogical nut jobs and to say that corey's birth family pretty much fit into that category of shitting bats crazy is a big fat "duh". Especially when corey's waste of space of a father says that not only were gay people sin itself, but flat out threatened to kill any gay individual that set foot into his house. More often than not, i can't help but wonder when these "followers" of the all mighty big guy in the sky read the bible they claim they get their teachings from, they ever stop and wonder if these teachings might actually be completely out of date by today's standards and are rendered null and void by now. Sadly, that would imply that they use more than a small fraction of their brain capacity that isn't "hate anyone that's different, cause god hates people that are different", last i checked, the bible never made mention of that. Speaking of which, i need to side track for a moment to say this: christians, if you're getting your teachings from the OLD testament and not the NEW testament, then there's your problem right there, but i digress.

It's one thing to hate someone for their sexuality, it's 5x worse when that person is your own child. When you've reached the point that you're not just a bonkers bible humper, but your close minded-ness cause you to kick your gay son out of your life because you can't accept that your kid isn't a brainwashed fuck like you, not only are you not fit to be a parent, but you have no right to call yourself a christian. Any decent minded christian would tell you that hating someone for their race, sexuality, beliefs, etc. is a massive no-no and makes baby jesus sad. Of course when an overly religious fruit loop is given logical reasoning and common sense, they instantly stick their fingers in their ears and go, "la la la la la la" as if they're above any of that and that they're right.

I noticed that at this point i gone off onto a tangent about crazy religious individuals, but it's still one of the main factors that play into this story. Corey was driven away by his own family all because he likes guys and they can't comprehend this. not even his own siblings, hailey and james, helped him out here, in fact, they're just as stupid and hateful as the same people that brainwashed them into thinking something this rancid, aka they're parents. Right after corey was adopted, they [his blood related siblings], along with their mom at one point, came forth with comments that make them worse than how they actually look. Such words of wisdom like:

"For all you that read my brothers little pity story on here, it’s a joke and I’m honestly in shock someone has enough nerve to lie about shit like that. Yes some is true but the major key points are false. If anyone has a problem come to me my brother is a fake and a coward. He has the power to manipulate a person better then anyone I know."

"They knew exactly what they were doing. Funny how Corey’s “story” was published the day after gay marriage becomes legal in some parts of MI."

"Exactly fucking homos. You know why every homo is successful. Because they our selfish and all they care about is themselves."

"I cant believe it myself, we never kicked corey out, he left. he was in no danger from his dad, he would never hurt corey, he just don’t believe in gays he don’t support it, he has his beliefs."

And the funniest one for me:

"Karma is a bitch and it’s coming his way."

Now that your brain hasn't melted into a pile of ooze and you haven't set something on fire in fit of toxic rage, allow me to put this incredibly bluntly about corey's "family", they're all retards.

Shocker there, i know, but it's almost hard for me to dissect each of these comments without me mindlessly insulting their very intelligence, or lack thereof, but i seem to have already did that more than once so once the use of doing so? Plus, when i first read the story and got before this part of it, i almost half expected hailey and james to be, at the very least, slightly smarter than their parents. NOPE. Turns out that corey is the only one that isn't a hateful mouth breather.

This also plays into another big problem with society: when ignorance and hate come into play. It's always a hard thing to accept, but this isn't the first time something like this has happened: a kid/teen is shunned by everyone, including their own family, just for being different. There's always gonna be that one person who can't seem to understand that they're are different people, in terms of almost everything, and the first thing they do is hate that person for being different. Is there a way to try and stop this? It's not permanent, but the best way to combat ignorance is knowledge. Learning and understanding is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You are given the tools to teach yourself and others how to go through life learning about everything,or in the very least, just as much as you possibly can. Religion is no exception and you want to know what's the number one thing that religion teaches you?

Be a good person and don't be a complete ass.

It is one of the most obvious, most easiest thing to learn from religion and yet some people either ignore it or, like a majority of the passages from the bible, they twist and turn it all around to their own demented liking. Just like corey's "family" did.

The best thing that came from this story is, not only did his horrendous family get exposed for the sociopathic bigots that they are, but most importantly, he finally has a new family that can love him for what he is and a place he can now call home. Here's to corey leading much happier life and as for the nichol's, well when one of them said that they hope karma comes corey's way, well i can only hope that happens to them at some point in their lives, but what do i know? I'm not as pants on head nutty as them.

An intro

Welcome to my blog. A not so magical place where i talk about what ever pops into my dirge of a wasteland known as my mind and i unleash it to the public, whether people want it or not. Expect the following: reviews, opinions, rants, observations, and lots and lots of dumb shit. Enjoy, you poor fools.